Looking for the stillness

When is it ok to sit and think? A creative practice needs contemplation not just a physical space but a mental space. There to many demands on our time, a constant pull between the need to appear productive and doing stuff.

Today I tried to make time to sit and be. I knew I had to leave my home and decided to head to Sheffield Cathedral. If you can’t be still and contemplative in church where can you be? Yet the mundanity of modern life creeps, in allure of a shop, an easy incitement that requires a strength to turn away from. The sudden recall that actually there is nothing for dinner and really that should be the focus not sitting still.

Once inside the cathedral what I thought might be contemplative silence is a cacophony of noises. A temporary coffee shop, a toddler group and some one cleaning the floor. Still unable to relax and sit still I rummage for sketch book and make an attempt to capture something that can spark work. I stop myself this wasn’t the motive for my trip.

Just sit still and be. I can’t my mind races with the hundred and one things. Eventually when I finally allow my self to be I am overwhelmed with tiredness. I could. quite happily have dozed off! But my children need picking up from school and the dinner hasn’t been bought.

Did my trip achieve stillness, meditation takes practice, its not about fighting the thoughts it letting them come and go. sitting in the church I wanted a deeper connection that for me wasn’t there. I realised that I function better in nature yet after I got home I did feel a renewed energy.